I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
