i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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