So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
