YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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