I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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