Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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