his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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