I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
