she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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