I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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