So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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