dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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