Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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