There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
