What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
