Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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