She's JV to your varsity
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Congratulations! We have a period
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