What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
