why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
