you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
