Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
