the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
