im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
