I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
