yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
