I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
