So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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