Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Found the puke drawer
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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