That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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