3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
