since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
