Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
