How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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