Your face is a jimmy john
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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