You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
