Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
