things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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