You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
