It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
