Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
