bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
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