we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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