Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
