Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
