I wish I only lived at night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
