It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
