I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
