i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have post one night stand depression
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