I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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