Your tits are I can't wait for
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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