Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
