Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
