It's Friday. Sex?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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