the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
