i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
